Orientation, secondationed

It's nine o'clock in the facking morning. In about fifteen minutes I am off to do the greatest day I've ever had- at work. Well maybe I should say the best and worst, why? Because today is orientation day. Yes orientation day. Now I know some of you will be wondering why I need to do another orientation when I started in October. Well the answer is meat. I never had an orientation. *gasps* Yeah it's like someone saying they've never been baptized, or never been circumsized. The same reaction I got when I told laura I put milk in my apple crisp (it's delicious, ok!! God!)

Heard that Bush spoke to NAACPQ753bfusidqjakdashu$#%#&@&.. the-the black people organization (no offense, but your acronym isn't exactly easy to remember. And I will phaser blast anyone who corrects me on the name) and opened with a joke and then continued to do what any Bush does when handed a microphone, fucks shit up. Expected. Look it up because I won't be bothered to.

Saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (pronounced Dead MAN's chest) And uh yeah... kickass. Way better than Patrick Stewart's one hour specials on space. And don't get me wrong, Patty Stew is badass. But if Jack Sparrow and Cap'n Pickaxe got into a brawl (no weapons or armours. Skill against Skill) Jack would daze and confuse him by prancing around like a homosexual who got smacked in the head by a lead pipe and Pickscab would do is just stand there with those little stars over his head wondering why shouldn't he try to sell him deathsticks.

Speaking of people better than Pickard..how about... Han Solo! Not to get in a battle of semantics but a llamish blog friend of mine decided to attack starwars ie my territory. Clearly a declaration of war. Unfortunately for him I have starwars, and forces in lots of movies and pretty much every video game there is. Not to mention steaks and japanese food. Ha-Ha! And the only reason this isn't in your comments section is because the damn page wouldn't load.

Now I've gone and soiled myself...

Anyways off to the orient, spect an onion max 5 before the end of July.

Stephen Colbert Still Kicks ass

EDIT: There was supposed to be a movie clip here... but it's not..here... I don't know why.. probably monkeys in the reactor core or something. Oh well, my point still stands.

Hi'umm!!

Worst friggidy day ever!

Ok so updates have been a bit sparce as of late but you know what? You're still coming to my site and reading all of the same old posts over and over again and you know why? Because I'm just that awesome.

But yes, lo and behold a freakin update! Now listen here, I just went on an ass camping trip (truth: It was actually really fun don't take this too seriously). Now I don't mean ass as in oh baby I like a side of the beef and..peas...why not.. I mean ass as in a blind goat walking into a solid pile of shit would have been more entertaining. Actually... now that I think about it.. a blind goat walking into a pile of shit repeatedly would be pretty funny...

HAHAHA What a dumbass!

So as far as the worst day ever goes.. that would be today. No no, it wasn't seniors day.. a day I lament but managed to avoid this month. I AM NAGYKIN SKYWALKER MASTER OF SCHEDULING!! But because today was just so damn busy. And it was one of the girl's last day. She will be missed. She made rushes tolerable.. ironically except this one. But then again her duty was outside the box that is the kitchen. My boss (let's not forget that she is fat) wouldn't help out at all meaning I was stuck with the bullshit that is post lunch rush.

Post Lunch Rush:

Used to be lunch rush but since lunch rush has divided itself into morning rush and post lunch rush...well yeah. It means some jackass and his family will decide "hey it's 1:30 in the afternoon.. let's go to Zellers to eat!" Kids: "Yay!!" before I pile drive them into the coleslaw.

So it got really busy really fast. And I lost my temper severely. If you know me, you know that it pisses me off when there's more than 3 orders on the board. I can do two easily. Three's a stretch, but any more than that you're running your fingers around the button that is me kicking your ass. Well orders went up to about 8 or 9. You do the math. I was light headed and very very short. But I persevered and managed to get throguh it by myself. Of course I had no choice. Argh! PISS!

I see James is having a swell time up in the B. Cizzo. with the treeplanting. Jolly good show on his part. I actually can't wait till he comes back- many a beer to go around!!

coming soon: Summer edition of Onionmax